Sunday, June 29, 2014

THE FAIR WEATHER SPOUSE

A fair weather spouse is that husband/wife that only has your back when the going is good. Most of us would automatically relate it to people that leave their marriages when money becomes tight but I have come to realize that it goes beyond that. Some of us are seemingly married and still fair weather partners. We only love and care for our partners when they are happy, cheerful and have something to give to us but the moment things are down, how supportive are we then? How many times do we truly take our time to listen and understand our spouses frustrations and hurts or is it that when we are so tired and too stressed at work,  being our partner's cheerleader becomes a burden. Of course, we then find it easy to say our partner is so selfish caring only about what he/she is going through and always complaining but truly are we not just a fair weather spouse?


The act of selflessness is crucial in marriage. You give, give and continue to give. Imagine how beautiful a marriage would be if both partners just keeping giving all of themselves with no holding back and no feeling of being burdened or used; with no selfish agenda or expecting to receive in return. I know that some of my readers are also the victims of this scenario. It feels like you're always there for your partner but when you need help is when an array of excuses usually come up. Your partner might just be unintentionally becoming a fair weather spouse. However, we should bear in mind that some husbands/wives are so needy. They believe the world revolves around their needs and that somehow their problems supersedes every other person's issues or problems. With people like that, it can sometime be exhausting trying to be supportive all the time especially when we have so many things in our mind. Communication is key. What is the essence of being marriage if we still feel like we're alone in this world and we have to shoulder all our struggles. You need to be able to discuss with your partner when it feels like he/she needs more than you can give. Do not just simply ignore them like it would go away. Nothing fixes itself in marriage. Every issue has to be worked on and trashed. Closing your eyes to them and sweeping them under the rug would not bring a plausible solution.

It can be compared to the game of football, many people are die hard fans. They keep cheering and going to watch their team's games even when they are playing awfully and not winning. We keep cheering them on. Never loosing hope or faith and always giving our best screams and claps. If only we could extend a bit of that to our partners. Always cheering and encouraging even when they do not deserve it. In fact, especially when they do not deserve it. Being there through all the seasons, when they have trophies and when they do not even qualify for any. You are your spouse's greatest fan. Do not be a fair weather spouse. Let us live, love and learn for the journey is still far and it is not for the fainthearted.

N.B- Don't forget you can share your true stories anonymously with other people so it can help somebody in that exact same situation. Send an email to tundeoni2@gmail.com.

2 comments:

  1. Touching and true. What's most true is how. Some partner want everything to revolve around them, they are so needy that they are more of a burden than a helpmate. In such situations you need to wear patience and communicate your dissatisfaction. Most of all you need GOD'S grace. Pray.

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