Sunday, June 15, 2014

CONTENTMENT IN MARRIAGE

I really did not have to think for too long today on what I want to write as everything I have seen around me in the last few weeks has pointed straight to contentment. Our natural instinct as humans is to say of course I am content but I have seen that without even realizing it, many of us experience so much greed and just are not capable of being content with where we are and what we have. The instinct to have more is present in every human and that is not necessarily a bad thing but when we get to a point that where we never truly sit to appreciate and enjoy that which we have, then it is a red flag. When we get to a point where all we see is how well others are doing and never ourselves.


We’re never satisfied with what we or our children have or wear; Every time we go out to a party or an occasion is a problem because all that we see is how everyone else is doing so well.I want to believe that this does not apply to everyone, that some people have mastered the act of contentment. That some people simply understand that there is time for everything and everyone one to achieve their own goals and are not really shaken by the achievement of others. I also believe that there is a portion of us who have allowed discontent to be deep seated in their hearts, so much that it has become a struggle in their marriage. The simple reason why this could be a potential marriage time bomb is simply because this trait is usually more predominant in one partner therefore, it puts the other partner under pressure. 

A real life scenario could be this;  a husband wants to buy a particular car and they do not have money in abundance, he puts his family under pressure and after pulling all their resources, he buys that car. Six months later, they are not richer and still earn the same income yet, he is tired of that car and wants a better one. He now wants to put his family under another cycle of stress simply because he will never be content with any car he buys so long as better cars are produced daily. It is the same concept that makes a man/woman to be unfaithful in their marriage. There would always be someone finer, richer and seemingly better than your partner but you made a choice to marry that man/woman. Contentment is what will help you take your eyes off everyone else you meet. For some women, the problem lies with their children, every time they take their children out and meet other children, they always want better, they want their children to have all that the other kids have. This also causes immense pressure as the man just cannot understand the unending need to buy something for the kids.

I am not saying we should not put ourselves hard to achieve more, I am saying we need to learn to understand where we are at every stage and be content with it. We all move and grow at a different pace. The earlier you stop reaching higher than you can the better for your home. How will we teach our kids contentment where we have not mastered it ourselves. Let us live, love and learn for the journey is still far and it is not for the fainthearted.


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