Sunday, June 08, 2014


I believe there is no married couple that do not have their own share of victories and struggles. We all have the good times and the bad times. Different phases and seasons.Our challenges as  couples however varies. Some people have emotional struggles, some have financial struggles, some have spiritual struggles, some have intimacy struggles, some have communication struggles and the list goes on and on. Some of them I probably do not know because I probably have not experienced them in my marriage yet and some I never will. It is so easy to get caught up in the less than perfect moments that we do not celebrate the times that are going so well that we have taken them for granted. I once attended a seminar years ago while in the university before I even thought of getting married and one thing the speaker said that stuck was that; Life comes in different phases. She said no matter how rich and comfortable you are as a family, you will always have your broke seasons. It will never be a smooth sail. She used an example saying that there will be a time you can afford Chinese or KFC and there will be a time when it is just Mr Biggs you can afford  but eat the Mr Biggs without groaning because that season will also change.

Somebody sent me a message last week and said, " If only we had money, then my marriage will be sweet". For a little while I just simply paused. I began to wonder how many couples truly feel this way. It might not have to do with your finances. What are the 'if onlys' in our hearts? If only I had a better job, if only I had a less demanding job, if only I was more good looking, if only I was good in bed, If only I was more educated, if only I had married earlier or later, if only we did not have so many problems and the list goes on and on. Maybe we are truly not happy but in our mind, we have justified that that problem is the root cause. I would say to you, what I said to that friend of mine. I understand that lack of money might put more pressure on a marriage but it simply would not turn a good and solid marriage from good to bad. I bet you when you have that money, it would go from bad to worse. A couple that can stay strong and absolutely in sync through the times of lack can definitely handle the times of plenty. If you marriage isn't sweet without money then the presence of money would only make it more sour.

We have to celebrate the little things. Create little memories in our darkest times that we would actually laugh about when the times turn around. There are a thousand and one phases that we will phase in our whole marital journey, some longer than others and we cannot let them dictate the mood of our home. Laughing in the bad times is what keeps you going. I believe that as a couple, the times we bond the most is when things go a little down south because that is when we draw strength from each other. Let us live, love and learn for the journey is still far and it is not for the fainthearted.

1 comment:

  1. Nice one......God bless u