Sunday, April 06, 2014


 Sometimes we come to a point in our marriage and we ask ourselves: What's with this marriage anyway? It is so bad that we appear to have fallen out of love with  the man/woman that we so longed to be with years back at the altar. Where did it start going wrong? Where did we loose the spark? At what point? Then we wonder why? For some, they  never get back to that starting point, they never move beyond this stage and as such the marriage breaks down irretrievably but for some, they try. In the midst of all the pressure and luxury that stares at them, they strive, they  make conscious efforts to revive the oath /vow they took before God in d presence of family and friends. At this point, we then wonder what actually leads one to this point in life. What makes us want to just STOP?  Sit back and enjoy as I give you an expose` into the life of Bayo and Tolani (not real names).

 ‎Bayo is a loving and devoted family man who loves his wife so much and believes that life should be centered around family because that comes first in everything. Tolani on the other hand, also loves her husband dearly but is not much of a clingy person...she's free spirited. Bayo is the Operations Manager of a multinational company and as such is usually clogged with a busy work schedule and countless impromptu business travels. Most times, he gets home worn out and all he asks for is a cold shower and his bed, not even his dinner. On the other hand, Tolani works as a medial doctor in a state owned hospital and as such has not got much time on her hands.So, she comes home all tired, prepares dinner and patiently waits for Bayo to come back so they can have a little chat but all she gets is a grumpy, tired and sleepy husband who only snuggles close when it's time for lovemaking. Tolani tries and tries and tries...She makes a conscious move to get things right but all her hopes of reviving her marriage keeps getting dashed. she knows Bayo loves her and he has just been caught up in normal hustles which is dominant in every city .This is tearing them apart but he is not seeing it. Then Chris comes into the picture, she met Chris at an end of the year party organized for the staff of her company and he was just the perfect guy for the season: listens to her, cares about and for her, treats her like she is his all and gradually, Tolani begins to drift away. Unfortunately, Bayo  has not noticed the change in attitude because he doesn't even have the time to (You will agree with me that this is the story of most of our marriages.We as women or men tend to let go of the spark we once had, blaming it on our jobs, society, hustles and the likes.Marriage is a new whole world, it belongs to you and your spouse alone. You are the actors in the house and when you refuse to play your part, there is 'no show'). Let us make a conscious effort to make it work , let us live, love and learn because the journey is still far and it is not for the fainthearted.

Watch out for the concluding Part of the story in Breaking point 2. Cheers!!!

Written by Mrs Solape Olaiya.

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