Sunday, April 13, 2014


Hello All, I trust you all had a fun filled week and as such are prepared 2 read through the concluding part of last week's topic : Like I said last week, it didn't take long for Chris to be the center of Tolani's world. He simply filled in the gap, a big one that Bayo's insensitivity had brought into the marriage. Tolani had so much fun and shamefully, Bayo never suspected; the more he waded off her office gists that she always wanted to eagerly share with him, the more he  threw her into the arms of Chris who was a perfect gentleman and an attentive listener. Then gradually, the questions started cropping up, ' why am I married' and then Chris would say 'if only you were not married, no one would have been able to take you away from me.' This went on and on until one night...

Bayo was fast asleep and Tolani picked up his phone to surf through in desperation to get to sleep.Lo and behold, she saw the shock of her life. Bayo was also having an affair. One which was surely stronger than the one she had with Chris.On Bayo's part, he had thrown all caution to the wind as she saw various pictures being exchanged, sexually provocative chats e.t.c. O.M.G! Tolani was totally dazed, she was hurt and bitter and all of a sudden, all the anger and exasperation she felt could no longer be contained and she was bent to let all hell loose this very night. So, she woke Bayo up in annoyance, the poor guy was as usual, very tired, she hit him so hard that his sleepy eye became wide open like he wasn't sleeping at all, then she burst into tears. She couldn't take it any longer, she poured out all her frustration and annoyance at him and then referred to all the evidence of his escapades on his phone but to her amazement, Bayo kept his cool, he listened to all her rantings and insults and then he brought out a memory card, inserted it into Tolani's phone and showed her all the evidence of the affair she also had with Chris.

At this point, she lost all her guard and burst into tears. She was in love with this man and strangely, she still was but she can't seem to place how they got to this stage. Their once passionate and loving marriage had become a meeting point of two strangers who just stayed married together because of the phrase 'what will people say?'. That night, they both poured out their hearts to each other, each spouse telling the other what pain he or she felt and what gaps had been left behind. they hugged and kissed and cried and laughed and they vowed not just to make it work but to be conscious of gaps that may lead to breaking points.
Dear reader, Bayo and Tolani could surpass this because they confronted their  break points and decided to consciously fill in the gaps. Yes, they survived but some never do. This scenario is just one in forty so my charge to you today is,  marriage is not a smooth sail, it goes beyond relationship norms, it goes beyond the kisses and the passion that we share with our spouses, it's a deep commitment, it's a purposeful venture where you try amidst all obstacles, errors,faults,inadequacies to make it work because if you are not careful, you might never recover from your break points when they arrive. Do not be weary, let us live, love and learn for the journey is far and it is definitely for the faint hearted.

Written by Solape Olaiya.

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